Amnesiac...

With no Self-Identity I open my eyes,
Who am I and what's this place?
The various faces that surround me,
By what shall I call you?
Are you my Mother and me your darling child?
Are you the one who must have held me by your gentle hands, and showed me the way to walk on my own?
Are you the same angel who must have hugged me out of pristine love, the warmth of which to this day holds me safe?
Are you my Father and me your son?
Are you the one who must have taught me through your vast wisdom, to lead my life - humble and strong?
Are you my Lover and me your beloved?
Are you the one who must have understood me with your unending patience?
Are you the damsel with whom I must have taken an oath, that no force is strong enough to do us apart?
Are you my Friend and me yours?
Are you the one with whom I must have played the many games and shared everything under the sun?
Are you to me what you say you are?
Darling Child, Son, Lover, Friend, Brother and many more...
If that be true, then forgive me please,
Helpless I am, unable to recall any of these.
I just know about a moment of intense pain,
Not a thing before that and nothing thereafter.
With gratitude I thank the hand that holds me now,
Someday soon I will be able to remember it all too.

- T S Sudarshan [ 10 March 2007 ]

Expression

Words, please don't fail me;
Voice, just don't abandon me;
Fear, don't come close to me;
Courage, do stay with me;
As I want to freely express,
The Laughing child in me.

- T S Sudarshan [ 1 March 2007 ]

Formless Love Formed

Formless I am,
Yet you see me in many forms.
I arise in you and all around,
Rosy red and ebony black.
I am present in a mother's sweet kiss,
In a father's harsh beating too I exist.
In a beast I live dormant,
Mute to his daily torment.
Inside an angel I overflow,
Radiant in her afterglow.
I am the melodious music of the gurgling stream,
Wreathing dance in the moonshine breeze am I.
I give the weak their strength,
Of me the tough too turn meek.
Beseeching me many wars are fought,
Seeking me many lost their sane thought.
From me numerous emotions arise,
As the hate too is my own progeny.
I make you laugh when sad,
And cry when you are happy.
I dissolve away all your pricking pain,
Manifold I increase your joyous gain.
Due to me the poison tastes sweet,
Hell too, I transform into paradise.
I dwell in the glorious idols of sanctum shrines,
You look for me in all these inanimate things.
I am your light in the utter darkness,
I support you at the ebb your lowtide.
I hold you safe in the deepest abyss,
I stand by you at your crowning apex.
I am the creator and in me is the destroyer,
I am the undying Love in your tender heart.

- T S Sudarshan [ 1 March 2007 ]

Destitute

Unwanted by all and noone mine,
I am to others, Scum of the earth.
Forgotten to this icy world of ice,
I am destiny's child left stranded.
Even the most loyal friend of mankind,
Barks at me with insentient disdain.
Empty hands, raiment of rags,
My naked heart, bereft of hope.
The child in me thirsts for love,
Ears of mine seek a kind word.
Hard bedrock of ground is my cozy bed,
Vast blue sky is the shelter over my head.
I dream a dream of being one among you,
For I am a lonely, undesired destitute.

- T S Sudarshan [ 1 March 2007 ]